THE ANXIETY OF ANXIETY

I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety lately. Up until now, I’ve been able to work in relative isolation, making small editions of books that were seen by a small group of people. All of that is starting to change now. Although the group of people seeing my work is only a little bit bigger at this point (going from very small to not-as-very-small), it is now being seen and read by some people who are very well established in the field, people whose work I respect and admire. Having them read the work is very exciting. It’s also slightly terrifying. Funny how the two often go together. These things, this life, never goes how one expects it to. So I am anxious to see what happens from here.

To review (my position): I have been making books for almost nine years. I graduated with my MFA a little more than a year ago, and have been in the Bay Area for almost as long. I turned 29 this month. I work full-time as a letterpress printer at a small commercial studio. Over that past year, I have released 3 books. I want to ramp that up. I want to raise the stakes.

It’s strange, to be suddenly in a conversation. This blog is part of that, as I use it to announce things, and more often to sketch out critical and theoretical positions on various bookish/artish topics. And I’m seeing how this works. I’m learning what it means to be “out there.”

Absolutely.

Terrifying.

As it must.